A few years ago, my wubby bought us front row tickets for Cirque du Soleil. I remember driving us to the Cirque site, a large parking lot--in the center of the City--serving as host to a number of fanciful looking tents. As we drove through the darkened streets, closer and closer to our destination, I heard the song "Clocks" for the first time. The lyrics--nonsensically--flowed into each other.

And that song made that night feel even more magical to me.

Tonight I heard Clocks again and I thought of seeing Cirque du Soleil with my wubby.

Okay, I'll admit to having BEEN a fan of the L Word. However, I am feeling a disconnect with the current season. Let's not even TALK about how they killed off Dana.

Anyhoo, I feel a certain affinity to the character of Bette. In a lot of ways, my partner teases me that I remind her of Bette.. a Type A personality who tends to miss the forest for the trees..someone fairly wrapped up in their work..who is not so easily distracted from her professional obligations..sometimes at the expense of family.

On the other hand, there are some Tina-like traits that my partner exhibits, but it ain't many. Numero uno, my partner wouldn't take as much crap as Tina has taken from Bette. I WISH I could pull some of the stuff Bette has.. I know I'd find a size 7 1/2 in my azz!!

Anyhoo, the last few episodes have bothered me more than I thought they would..and I guess it's b/c Bette and Tina share the responsibility of raising a biracial child. But what if that biracial child, birthed by a non minority mother, leaves her minority partner and gets involved with another non minority individual (male or female)?? Deep, huh?

The idea that MY child becomes the odd man out bothers me at a fundamental level b/c I do know biracial children who have grown up in all white households who still suffer the scars of DISCONNECT and OTHERNESS. They struggle to fit, but know at a basic level b/c they are biracial..and thus, minority .. they are LESS than in their own homes.

I dunno, but I might have done the same thing Bette did tonight. Grab my child and run. As a lawyer, deep down inside, I'd believe I had a fighting chance in the courts.. but as a lawyer I also know that sometimes the courts are not fair. That justice is sometimes just a word and not a result.

..so, in the end, you act on instinct..and you run.

My mother and aunt left this morning to return home. It was a lovely visit and there are plans in place for them to return in June for the birth of the baby. I'm heartened by the fact that my partner wants them there, with her..and with us. I'm especially relieved at their presence as both are experienced in childcare. They are both former nursing professors, one with a specialization in neonatology.. the other a certified midwife.

I was especially pleased with how much they are looking forward to Mr. Bubble's appearance.

I've spent the last few days in the presence of a number of West Indians.. all are quite familiar with my situation and seemingly supportive of my partner and our impending motherhood. Generally, when I am in the presence of West Indians, I tend to downplay my lesbianism..and the gender of my partner. Since her pregnancy, I've been quite open and forward about my situation. Before, I was quite meely mouthed about my marital status. No longer. I let ppl know that I am partnered and my other half is expecting our first child.

I plan to travel with my partner and our child to the West Indies..and in my every day work, I am and will be in the company of other West Indians, its not like I can treat my child as though he doesn't exist.

I was quite pleased, however, at the curiousity of many of my West Indian colleagues.They wanted to know how my partner conceived and how we chose to have a biracial child, rather than a white child. One woman stated quite emphatically: "Well, of course the child must be biracial. You and your partner are an interracial couple." I just smiled when she said that. A few years ago, it would have been the last thing I would have expected to hear from a West Indian.

This is the final week in the 2nd trimester..and while the wubz seems to have a lot more energy...I'll be frank in saying that she still loves her a power nap. The woman can actually sleep, at work, sitting up in her chair.

Unbelievable.

According to the experts, Mr. Bubbles probably weighs about two pounds now and approximately 9-10 inches CRL (crown to rump length). The air sacs in his lungs begin this week. His lungs will begin to secrete surfactant which covers the inner lining of the air sacs which then allows the lungs to expand normally during breathing.
Besides the active lung growth, brain wave activity should begin for the visual and auditory systems.

To all of the wonderful ppl who have sent greetings, prayers, and letters of encouragement, thank you so much. They have been received, noted, and appreciated. To my fellow bloggers, Abigail, MC, and Happy Me Finally.. sorry that I haven't responded personally to your messages, but a sista has been hella busy.

So.. what's been going on with the pregnant lezzies..

Well, I've been trying my utmost to make a few extra dollars and put them aside, b/c as friends of mine tell me constantly: babies TAKE money. I have a goal that I am half way to reaching and with a few more cases and the odd job or two, I'll have enuff coppers **knock on wood** to get us through the few months or so that the wubby will be home, caring for our child. But I am learning, as I go, that despite the best planning, you will never have enough.

..but you still do the best that you can.

The wubby is growing rounder every day..and she now enjoys the constant movements of Mr. Bubbles. I, on the other hand, find the best position--usually on my knees, with my eyes level with her stomach, to watch him shift around. It is funny to watch...and the wubby is ever so patient with me and my numerous questions of: So, how does it feel...and What do you think he's doing in there? One of these days, I expect her to snap: It feels funny..and How the hell would I know what he's doing.

Ehehehehe..

**Updates**

Mr. Gentleman is out of the hospital, convalescing at a friend's home. It turned out that he had testicular cancer and a small hernia from an operation he had a few years ago to remove his kidneys. He was in the hospital for two weeks and during that time, he lost a considerable amount of weight. But, god love him, he hasn't lost his joie de vivre or his sense of humor. I visited him yesterday--and while I was shocked at how much smaller he was--I was still inspired by his strength of mind. I'll be busy with my projects until April 12th, but I promised him.. once things slow down for me, I plan to spend some time with him. Looks like my Sunday rituals will include a party of one.

My mother and aunt came to visit me and the wubz for one week. My mother had minor surgery and my aunt came to assist her with her stay-at-home care. During that time, the wubby had two older West Indian women, cooking and fussing over her. While she tends to enjoy her solitude and space, I think the wubz enjoyed the company and the attention. God bless, both women are heading back when Mr. Bubbles is due to make his appearance--to help out in any way--and I am looking foward to that.

The wubz has been diligently researching the internet on a few pertinent issues: hair care and skin care. To wit, as a black woman, I require a great deal of care..particularly as it pertains to my hair and skin. I have to keep my skin lotioned and oiled or else I start to flake and look a white, ashy color.. and trust me, it ain't pretty. Same thing with the scalp.. while my hair is thick, my scalp gets quite dry and requires a great deal of moisture. So, I "oil" my scalp as often as I can to keep down the flakes and to help my hair to grow. I don't wash my hair as often as the wubby and I require more time in the bathroom, grooming myself.

As the soon-to-be mother of a biracial child, the wubz understands that..and hasn't taken anything for granted. She watches as I cut and style my nephew's hair (my nephew owns a pair of clippers and has taught me how to do "fades") and she asks him numerous grooming questions. A few weeks ago, she found a website called the Curly Hair Salon. They have an excellent page called "Biracial Hair: Caring for Your Biracial Child's Hair." There's also a website called Curls (www.curls.biz), which sells hair care products designed for multiracial and biracial persons. The wubby has also bought a few books and some test products. A real good book to read on the subject is called: It's All Good Hair: The Guide to Styling and Grooming Black Children's Hair by a woman named Michelle NK Collison..and this particular website: http://www.adoptn.org/hairnov2004.html has excellent information for the non-minority family that adopts children of color, in particular Af/Am children. However, its still an excellent resource for white mothers/fathers of biracial children.

So, what have we done in the house thus far? Squat, diddly. In a few weeks, I plan to invite the troops over to help me ready the nursery. A series of baby showers have been planned by close friends and loved ones. The first shower is being thrown by the wubby's hockey mates, the second shower is being thrown by my best buddy and golfing partner and will include all of my sports friends and friends from work. The hockey shower has 48-50 invitees and the second shower has over a hundred or so folks. In looking at the lists, I realized that the wubby and I have tons of friends..

..ehehehe.. That's good for Mr. Bubbles.. cos hopefully, he'll get tons of gifts.

Well, thats all from the land of Sunshine and baby booties.. I'll try and update the "WHERE ARE WE NOW" reports.. but my ticker has been doing a fine job telling ppl where we are in the process.